Live To Tell The Tale
by Contredanse
Summary: Ophelia Carmine is a psychoanalyst who just got a job at Arkham. Things don't work out as she had planned, of course. They never do. Madness, heroes, mayhem and love, who will triumph at the end? OCJonathan Crane. And yes, I plan on redoing the summary.


The ceaseless, noisy beeping of the alarm woke Ophelia up with an unpleasant jolt. It was a Monday morning and, as she realized to her immense horror, the first day of her job at the Arkham Asylum.

Being late wouldn't only tarnish her record, but also that of the University. They were, after all, the ones who recommended her to the place and she did owe them that, at the very least.

She rolled gracelessly off her bed, struggling to untangle her legs from the sheets, and rushed into the bathroom. As obvious as it was that she was not made for multi-tasking, the redhead succeeded in both brushing her teeth and rinsing her hair at the same time. With a white, fluffy towel wrapped around her head like a turban, she hurriedly rummaged through her mess of a closet in search of suitable work clothes that she probably did not own.

Finally settling for a plain white shirt and crisp black knee-length skirt, she grabbed her briefcase, slipped on her black pumps and leapt noisily down the stairs of her apartment, two steps at a time, cursing the broken down elevator in a way that would make a sailor wince.

Upon reaching the Gotham University, Ophelia quickly spotted her Professor.

"Ahh, Miss Carmine. You're just in time. Mister Kingsley and I were just about to leave. Please," The old man paused to gesture at the open door of his car, "make yourself comfortable. It's going to be a long ride."

"Thanks Mr. Larten."

She squeezed herself into the backseat of the small, yet undeniably posh sports coupe, next to one of her fellow intern.

"Hullo Kingsley." She said dully to the blond boy sitting next to her.

"I see you didn't get much sleep." He said in a smug tone.

She mumbled her reply crossly, as the engine of the car started with a rumble and their hour-long journey began.

- - - -

"Here we are!"

The voice of her professor woke the dozing girl. She rubbed her eyes and stared at her surroundings.

It was a dull, dreary place. Except for the grass on the lawn and several bare trees, the grounds were totally devoid of any plant life. Crows cawed and fluttered their wings from their perch on the rooftop. This asylum was a perfect picture of misery.

"Nice place." Ophelia commented unsurely, poking her sleeping companion in the ribs.

"Oh don't be silly. It's just a hospital of sorts." Mr. Larten commented cheerfully, passing the guards at the gate a slip of paper. They nodded sternly and the gate opened with a loud, rusty creak.

After stepping through the steel gates, they were promptly greeted by a friendly looking woman with endearingly blonde hair. She stood smiling by the doorway who shook each of their hands warmly and introduced herself as Doctor Harleen Quinzell, who would be showing them around for the day.

Ophelia sighed with relief. _So the people here could smile after all, _she thought nervously_, and I'm not working at some secret Nazi Camp. _

It was obvious, as they stepped into the building, that this was not a place made for the comfort of the workers, or for that matter, the patients. The walls were a sanitary white color, reminiscent of the Dentist's office that she had to visit often during her High School years. Her shoes squeaked against the linoleum tiles that covered the floor and the air smelt of medicine and madness.

She shuddered, hoping she would get used to the place quickly enough.

- - - -

The strong aroma of tea wafted through the office, making Ophelia feel weak and drowsy. She cautiously sipped her tepid tea of unidentifiable flavor from a flimsy Styrofoam cup.

It tasted terrible; dilute, bittersweet and vaguely chemical. She made a face, but continued to drink. It was critical that she appeared as perky and enthusiastic as possible when she met the director of the hospital.

A loud, screeching noise almost caused her to fall off her chair; Kingsley had dragged a chair over to her table. She scowled.

"Do you really have to do that?"

"Annoy you? Yes, I do. It's one of the highlights of my day, as a matter of fact. And might I add that you seem unusually jumpy…?"

"I have a meeting with the director of the hospital in," she paused to glance at the clock on the wall," a while."

"Well, aren't _you _special," He said, a slight tone of envy in his voice, "I guess lowly pharmacists like me don't matter much to him don't we. I mean, I'm just the person who passes out the pills, aren't I?"

The red haired girl could not help but roll her eyes.

"Oh, shut up, Gaylord. It's not like I'm looking forward to it terribly. It's like being sent to see the Principal all over again." She said, deliberately using his first name to annoy him.

"Hey, I'll have you know that Gaylord is a fine, respectable na-"

The door suddenly slammed open with a resounding bang and Harleen strode in looking hassled.

"Ophelia, Doctor Crane wants to see you now." She told her, panting slightly.

"I thought he wanted to see me at three O' clock?"

"Oh, well no, something came up and he has to leave for a meeting soon."

"Ah, um, okay." She gave Kingsley as sad wave and followed Emily, looking rather like a puppy that had just been kicked in the backside.

Though she had already been given a tour, Ophelia was led down a zigzagging maze of hallways and doors that she found herself unable to identify.

Finally reaching their destiny, the woman left her, no doubt to attend to some other grueling business. Feeling slightly apprehensive, she knocked thrice on the mahogany doors.

Three minutes later, she heard a 'come in'.

The door creaked softly as it opened and she found a young man with a pair of black-framed glasses looking at her critically.

"Um, hello." She said, trying to sound calm and collected, which did not work out well. "I'm Ophelia Carmine. The new Psychoanalyst."

"You're late." He said, peering at him through his glasses.

"I know. I didn't know you wanted to see me this early." She tried to look as apologetic as humanly possible.

"Hmm."

The was an awkward silence. For at least five minutes, they did nothing but stare at each other. Or rather, Ophelia stared at him, while he flicked a speck of imaginary dirt from his fingernails.

_He has very nice eyes_, she told herself.

"I read your article in the papers." He finally said, breaking the silence.

"Oh."

"I found it very insightful."

"Ah, well, thank you-"

"Though very naïve."

"Oh."

"I'll overlook your lateness because it's your first day." He told her in a tone that obviously indicated that he felt he was doing her kindness, "But you had best shape up if you plan on keeping your job here."

"Thanks. Really." She said insincerely.

He glanced impatiently at his watch and made a dismissing gesture at her.

She scowled and walked angrily out the door.

_This line of work_, she thought, _is bad for my health._ _I think I scowled at least thrice today. Next thing you know, my face will be full of worry lines. Not that it's my fault that man is such an utter asshole._

- - - -

"That man is such an utter asshole." She told Kingsley heatedly back in the office.

"You must have done something to piss him off, then." He said decidedly, leaning back into his chair.

"Yes, I rather think it was the fact that I was breathing _his _air-"

"Come on, Ophelia. You were late for the meeting. It's not his fault for being mad."

"He was the one who changed the time in the first place. He should be apologizing to me!" She shouted indignantly, crushing a Styrofoam cup in her fist.

"Hey, there's still coffee in there!"

Ophelia ignored him pointedly and sighed noisily. Bad bosses were the bane of her existence. And Doctor Crane seemed to be the worst of them.

_He was arrogant, critical and probably a closet pedophile. _She though, feeling slightly satisfied at the latter.

"Sometimes, I think I should've joined the army like my Dad wanted me to." She told him, letting her head fall onto the table with a thump.

- - -

**Author's Note:**

Hello! This is my first batman fic, so… yeah. I really hope my character won't turn into a hideously unredeemable Mary Sue, so give me all the con crit you think I need. I love reviews and flames will be used to keep the wolves at bay and I dunno. Cook sausages or something.

Also, this fic is obviously happening at around the same time as 'Batman Begins', which means that yes, Crane is evil and corrupt and things. But hey, we love him that way, don't we?

And lastly, my story is Ophelia/Jonathan, if you haven't yet realized it.


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